The Topic is on Sober Activities

I’m at a meeting and the speaker shares.

“When I first got sober I thought life would be really boring, but I have found my life is much more interesting now. I am present for my family and friends and I do normal things like walk on the beach and go out for dinner. I have found wholesome activities like yoga and meditation and of course I am now involved in the fellowship. We have members drop over all the time and I love conventions. I played golf with a member last week. My life has never been busier.”

I think to myself I do most of those things. I suppose I take them for granted now.

Another speaker shares. “I really had nothing when I first got sober and was not even really capable of talking to people. They told me to get involved, but getting to meetings was about the best I could do. I started to try and help out by arriving early and setting up the chairs and cleaning the cups at the end. People would come and talk to me when I was washing up which made it easier and then I got given the service position of bring the milk. Before long I was secretary and by default I became part of the fellowship. I still don’t feel that comfortable with chit chat and I often prefer the company of my dogs while I knit to people. I love knitting. But I can honestly say I am part of the fellowship now.”

I get asked to share.

“As far back as a kid the activities that I liked the most were escaping in fantasy and stimulating my senses. I would imagine that the happy memories from a healthy childhood would be about birthday parties and playing with friends and family. When I was about 6 my fondest memories were at my grand-parent’s house and I had the whole back room to myself where I would eat chips and lemonade and watch Happy Days. I loved being there, or should I say I felt the most at ease there compared to the rest of my life. Their cupboard was always full of chips and lemonade and they just let me help myself. The back room was at the far end of the house from the lounge room where they sat and they just left me alone. Left me alone to live in the fantasy of Happy Days that had a normal family and the Fonz that lived separate, but connected and didn’t have a fear in the world – and lots of girlfriends. The sugar and salt from my snacks helped fuel this sense of well-being.

As I grew up there was nothing more I really enjoyed other than fantasy. In my teens I started skating, which I did enjoy, but I was never good enough at it to excel. And to be honest I think I spent a lot of time fantasizing about the places I would go to skate. I loved watching The Search for Animal Chin skate movies and imagined myself in a gang of skaters searching the world for awesome skate spots.

When I found drugs and alcohol I was the Fonz. I was cool and I was able to pretend I didn’t need your acceptance. I was able to be at ease around people and most importantly I was at ease around girls. I now had the confidence to seek the female attention that I so desperately wanted.

In recovery I have taught myself a lot of great habits and disciplines like yoga, meditation, walking, reading, writing, and taught myself a lot of great skills in business. I changed all my friends to non-alcoholics and enjoy their company. But this something in me always tries to pull me back to that little boy that seeks comfort in isolation and fantasy. There is a spiritual park to this program that is both in the steps and in the fellowship. Sometimes I have it and sometimes I find it elusive. I can’t enjoy life sober without it and I can’t stay sober for long without it.