*I deleted a few lines that were a bit personal.

Resentments

Resentment	Description	Afects My	Defects
		SE: Self Esteem – How I think of myself P: Pride – How I think others view me FS: Financial Security – Basic desire for money, property, possessions, etc. PR: Personal Relations – Our relations with other people A: Ambition – Our goals, plans and designs for the future ES: Emotional Security – General sense of personal well being SR: Sex Relations – Basic drive for sexual intimacy	Resentment, Anger, Fear, Cowardice, Self pity, justification, Self-importance, Ego, Self-condemnation, Guilt, Lying, Evasiveness, Dishonesty, Impatience, Hate, False-pride, Phoniness, Denial, Jealousy, Envy, Laziness, Procrastination, Insincerity, Perfectionism, Intolerance, Criticizing, Gossip, Greed
Kids Mum	Is crazy and controlling. Consistantly makes bad decisions. Is unnapraochable and unreasonable.	Emotional sec, Ambitions	Crital, judgemental, inconsiderate, selfish, lack of compassion
Feminism	It has destroyed both men and women. Made women envious of men and think they can compete on men things – which they fail at and makes them miserable. Makes men leave women and not help them because they believe the lie that women don’t need them – and makes them feel useless and without purpose. Neglects the wonderful thing women are good at – nurturing the next generation – which are now neglected and the spiral down continues.	Pride, self-est, Ambitions,	fear, pride, irrisponsible
Women	I blame women for the above, but it’s not even their fault. They are emotionally volatile and lost without direction from strong men. There are very few strong men so we end up with women with men responsibilities but acting on emotion instead of common sense. They say and beleive the most ludicrous things.	Self-set, Pride, Emot-sec, Ambitions, Financial sec,	blame, critical, judgemental, selfish
Global Criminal Elite	Criminally insane shadow government set on destroying Western culture so they can take over. So full of hate and rage. It is basically the devil.	Pride, self-est, Ambitions, fin-sec, emotional security	fear
Evil	Evil is here in these pages. The resentment and fear untreated causes insanity and world atrocities like Hitler. I feel we are about to see it again in the US and it may make it to Australia	Pride, self-est, Ambitions, fin-sec, emotional security	fear
Mum	Doesn’t know how to love. Only knows how to charm and control. I see myself in this and don’t want to be like that.	Pride, self-est, Ambitions, fin-sec, emotional security	fear, selfish, intollerant, greed
Step Dad	Is mean and miserly even though he is rich. I see that in myself a bit too.	Pride, self-est, Ambitions, fin-sec, emotional security	fear, selfish, intollerant, greed
Son	Still can’t accept having to look after a kid that is so physically disabled.	Pride, self-est, Ambitions, fin-sec, emotional security	selfish, fear, ungrateful

Fears

Fear	Description	Afects My	Defects
		SE: Self Esteem – How I think of myself P: Pride – How I think others view me FS: Financial Security – Basic desire for money, property, possessions, etc. PR: Personal Relations – Our relations with other people A: Ambition – Our goals, plans and designs for the future ES: Emotional Security – General sense of personal well being SR: Sex Relations – Basic drive for sexual intimacy	Resentment, Anger, Fear, Cowardice, Self pity, justification, Self-importance, Ego, Self-condemnation, Guilt, Lying, Evasiveness, Dishonesty, Impatience, Hate, False-pride, Phoniness, Denial, Jealousy, Envy, Laziness, Procrastination, Insincerity, Perfectionism, Intolerance, Criticizing, Gossip, Greed
War with China	god knows what it looks like, but it would be terrifying	A, EM. FS	Fear
Economic depression	I’m scared to lose the aussie good life.	A, EM. FS	Fear
Son’s NDIS funding dropping	Terrified to have to look after him myslelf	A, EM. FS	Fear, Selfish
My income drying up	I love making heaps of money and not having to work too much. I am too used to it.	A, EM. FS, SE, P, Sex	fear
Not being available for the kids	I want to be a good Dad	SE, P	fear, lazy, selfish
The globalists winning	The more I research the more I like ethno nationalism and how countries can retain very different culture and values while still co-operating. The globalists would force their values on everyone for the pursuit of their own profit and power. It would be horrible	A, EM. FS	Fear
The world becoming authoritrian	Same as above. We have lived in a remarkable century where the worlds super power has been a freedom based republic. Other eras where the dominant force was dispotic were no where near as affluent or safe	A, EM. FS	Fear
Workplace health and safety inspections	I didn’t realise they could just come into your workplace.	A, EM. FS	Fear, laziness.

Step 6

Critical

My mum’s voice in my head. I can blame her, but I have to live with me. I am critical on myself, but at least I have some compassion for myself. I lack that for others so can only see what they are not doing good enough and not so much of the why.

Judgemental

I use my brain to make quick assessments and get through life without having to use empathy. I use it to manage instead of putting myself in someone else’s shoes and feeling their pain.  

Inconsiderate

I am very busy with judging, and critiquing. My mind is full of plans and strategies. I shut my heart off because I don’t want to feel their pain.

Selfish

The oldest and best. Narcissist. The boy with the world at his feet; smart, hansom, loved, wealthy, and then all alone. Love, but no intimacy or attention. I became emotionally as independent as I could, I wasn’t even very good at it, but the patterns got hard wired. Now I am surrounded by people that love me and want nothing more than to give me intimacy and attention. Yet my old patterns are still so strong.

Lack of compassion

I don’t want to feel others pain. I hide from intimacy because I once craved it so much and it wasn’t there. I don’t want to feel the pain of other people. I don’t want to have to make allowances for them. I don’t want to let my heart and my guard down. I don’t trust myself to be strong. I don’t trust not to be taken advantage of.

Fear

Fear of losing what I have. My wealth, my freedom, my independence, my defects that to some degree give me these things. Most of my fears are rational, especially since working the steps again. They are markers of what I need to do. Often the defect is laziness, because I can reduce the fear and protect myself by doing certain things in my life, but I can’t be bothered. Other times the defect is pride.  

Pride

How I want to be perceived by others. It’s important, but if I’m twisted in my thinking I want to make others jealous and think I’m special and better than them. This is actually self-destructive. Since a teen I have tried to be perceived as someone that doesn’t care what others think, but it was a defence shield because I did. There are good things pride can do for me; things that actually real and make me more appealing to others. I can take pride in being a good father, husband, business man and friend. I can take pride in my looks – most people like someone that looks nice, and I can take pride in my intelligence and even show it off in way that is interesting to people, demonstrating rather than telling.  

Irresponsible

There is a balance. I need to time to relax on my own and spend time with family and friends, and my list of responsibilities are endless, so some compromise is needed. However the fear of responsibility and not doing responsibilities out of fear is where it becomes a defect. I just don’t want to face certain situations sometimes. Often it is because I am tired and don’t have the emotional energy. Procrastination works well for me in those times. I put it off to the next day and it is a much easier task, however denial can sometimes make me procrastinate longer than I should.

Blame

Looking at the faults of others to absolve myself of wrong doing and avoid looking at myself. Making demands on people that they are unable or were unable to achieve. Sometimes it’s important to acknowledge where the responsibility lies. I don’t want to take ownership for others short-comings. I have enough trouble keeping my side of the street clean, so it is only where blame slips over into resentment and I have unrealistic expectations of others.

Intolerance

Again it’s unrealistic expectations. It’s fine to be intolerant of unacceptable behaviour, but then it becomes my responsibility to discern what is unacceptable and limit the trust in the relationship, i.e don’t trust someone with things I expect them to fail at, or even severing the relationship. If I want to be in a relationship with anything from the ocean to financial institutions then I need to accept that I have to play by their rules and be wary they might try and drown me or shut down my business.  

Greed

My self-esteem always has to come before my accumulating wealth. I can’t steal, or harm people, but I can take market share in a legal and competitive marketplace. Accumulating wealth needs to be prioritized. I used to allow my mum to control me because I think I will get access to her resources. Because someone will give you money is a terrible reason to be nice to them.

Ungrateful

When defects of resentment, blame and intolerance blind me to the assets of someone, some thing, or a situation. To have relationships with people I admire and trust I need to accept their failings as well as their good points. If I am to work with others where our different strengths complement each other I need to accept both my own and their weaknesses.

Laziness

I need to rest, but I also need to do shit. It’s lazy when I de-prioritise those things that are important, especially when I do it out of fear.

Step 7

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single character defect which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen”

We have then completed Step 7…