About nine months ago when I stared to make some decent money and could actually save I decided I should learn about investing. I opened up a share trading account and a crypto trading account (well I already had that from buying vitamins), and an account at the Perth Mint for precious metals.
The learning curve was a little bit overwhelming and there was just too much I didn’t know, let alone know what I didn’t know. I started consuming economics content; books, videos, and blogs. This bled over to politics as they were so intertwined. The US election was coming up and some of the topics fascinated me; globalism vs nationalism, communism vs capitalism, left vs right. I dived in down the rabbit hole. I realised I didn’t even know what money was. I read about the history of money and how governments always abused their power and ended up debasing their currency.
This deep dive into a topic had repeated a few times over my life. In my late twenties it was gardening and then starting a mail order business in the gardening niche. Years later it was web design and then starting a web design/developer business. By then mail order had become Ecommerce so it supported my existing businesses. And then at the ripe old age of 40 I became single and entered the world of pickup and daygame. I approached pickup with even more enthusiasm than my other obsessions. Here was my shortcut to abundant pussy, which I believed was the fundamental reason I had any desire for business at all.
Pick up was a rabbit hole like no other. Inspired by my most primitive instincts and fuelled by my addiction I proceeded to learn how to fuck hot young girls. My research was eye opening and while it offered the promise of achieving my sexual goals, it was disheartening to learn the biological and psychological truth about intersexual dynamics. They call it a redpill awakening in the “manosphere”. What was most disheartening was my conditioning was based on a false narrative and the process of learning the truth at a deep enough level to a point where I could take advantage of it was incredibly painful. Women weren’t attracted to the things I thought they were and changing my fundamental beliefs around this so I could be an attractive man was both exhausting and depressing. I identified it as the digestion of the redpill. It took a few years and then a I won the game. I fucked more than I could count and I became a legend in my own mind. I then retired with a beautiful young wife that I wouldn’t have been able to attract and keep at the beginning of my pick-up journey.
Now I was jumping down the rabbit hole of economics and politics. It wasn’t quite as severe as the redpill awakening of pick-up, but it was close. I was starting to realise how corrupt governments and financial systems are. That every government that has its own fiat currency, money as I had grown up to understand it, abuses that power and devalues it through creating too much of it. From back in the Roman empire when they replaced the silver in coins to tin to printing to much of it like the Germans in the 20’s or expanding the balance sheet with digits like the US now 100 years later.
I had spent my whole adult life pursuing a thing that a select few had the power to create out of nothing. The full extent of this hasn’t quite hit me. It is such an emotional thing to digest. The thing I considered value, cold hard cash, was an illusion. I still get a buzz at a stack of 50’s, what they offer me. And yes, they do offer power, choice, freedom, and almost love, but to realise how fragile the system is. The system that I considered rock solid.
My early days in recovery and business in my 20’s and reading Think and Grow Rich. Following the instructions and visualising a pile of money. I imagined 10 million dollars in my possession within 10 years. I didn’t make it, which is a whole other story in itself. But the value I placed on 10 million dollars, visualising it every day like the book told me to. The emotional pathways that created, let alone just what my culture exposed me too in movies with briefcases full of cash. To come to the realization that in 100% of instances of human history that government issued paper money always gets devalued to it’s true value of zero.
Then the US election was on and the corruption and fraud was exposed, the lockdowns worldwide, China refusing any diplomatic relations with Australia while showing videos of their army, and the goons in the IMF and the World Economic Forum who looked like Bond villains talking about a Great Reset and worldwide communism centrally controlled from Europe. It was an interesting time to research politics and economics and I oscillated from the opportunities it would bring to the lockdowns lasting for ever and being ruled by China or some even more authoritarian regime based out of Brussels.
Nothing made sense. The response to Covid didn’t add up. I thought something big was going to happen. Maybe the AI tipping point had already occurred and the powers that be were preparing us with the lockdowns and soon the police would be replaced with drones and robots. I imagined a new world order and it terrified me.
So much so that I decided I needed some LSD to get my thoughts together on the topic. That turned into another handful more dances with the devil over the coming months and then I finally got clean by taking myself through the steps. Now at a few months clean again and the world hasn’t been taken over by a single ultimate authority I don’t have the same level of fear, however as I reflect on my thoughts in that time there is nothing that I find paranoid or even unlikely. It was a red pill period and I used psychedelic drugs to get through it. I had a higher power and I even worked a program. That power protected me from Alcohol, heroin, etc, but I hadn’t yet surrendered via the steps to psychedelics.
Now, in love with God and overwhelming gratitude with my life I truly believe it wasn’t my time. My recovery from drugs was exactly as it was supposed to be. That period of relapse last year was awesome. I’m sorry, I can’t deny it. I’m cautious to share this story because it might be seen as glorifying or promoting relapse, but the truth is I am clean today. I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps and the obsession to use drugs has been removed. I really believe I have “recovered” from the insanity proceeding the first drug and if I live life by a few simple rules then I will stay that way. Part of those “rules” are sharing my story. My story, not the watered down, politically correct, filter to not hurt the new comer version, but my story.
I relapsed just after my 45th birthday in November last year. I had reservations. I had a drawer full of them; LSD, MDMA, and cannabis. I wanted to take them. I prayed to God in my morning meditation and He said ok, well he didn’t say no, so I took that as a yes. I had a party with my girlfriend and we got right back into the swing, now we had a nicer place with ocean views and an AMG to drive – living the dream. I felt like a king.
She got the shits a few days after our party as I continued to vape weed. I get cold and distant. OK baby, I will stop, but I want to have one more dance with Lucy. I took a good dose and spent the day pondering my fears around a global elite giving the world a virus and then locking everyone down to condition them to this way of life. I was walking along the beach in the beautiful sunshine and felt so grateful for my life thus far. And grateful for the life and freedom I had at that moment. I looked around at my beautiful beach, the sun on my back, the breeze on my forehead, the acid flowing through my mind. I take it all for granted. I live in the most amazing place; so clean, so safe, so free.
Was I going to fight this new world order? Was I going to be a rebel and fight for truth, justice and freedom? Or was I going to surrender to the powers that be and make the most of the situation. I realised I didn’t want to fight. If I kept my head below the parapet I could still live a good quality of life regardless of who took over. Don’t post political views on Facebook, don’t call out the hypocrisy, keep anonymous and protect those I love. Those I love; Ricky and my kids, my future kids. Have the courage to be a coward. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Buy safe assets, have a recession proof business, and keep my head down.
Terrible visions of communism entered my mind; families torn apart, people sent to death camps. Protect my family. I should marry Ricky so it is official and are less likely to be separated in a disaster. And put a baby in her before they inject everyone with the infertility drugs disguised as the vaccine. I have to get clean again. The world is changing and I need to be clean to handle it better. I went to bed that night and as I was drifting off into sleep thought, If I don’t smoke weed I could probably get away with taking Molly once a month and Lucy every week or 2.
Red Pill Recovery 