The last time I saw him was the week before he passed. I had stopped seeing much of him. I blamed others for that, but mostly God. God had given me a pass. I was the one that was there for him when he first got sick. The one that considered his immediate needs rather …
Author Archives: nickj
A Program For Living
I’m a few months clean again – I feel like I have written that a few times on this blog. It was really hard to get any momentum being clean this time. The negative effects of my drug use have lessened since I committed to getting-clean-again. I relapse and nothing really bad happens, but I …
Another 12 Step Fellowship
A new fellowship! How many does he do? I feel a bit like the girl from fight club. I suppose I have just embraced the 12 steps. What’s one more going to hurt? In fact, I feel renewed and full of hope. I’m a newcomer again. At step 1 in a new fellowship – Workaholics …
Flushing Lucy
I did it again. I decided for various well thought out and calculated reasons that I should do another psychedelic journey. It was ok. A couple good things, a couple bad, no disasters thank God. Time to get clean again, but I still had 400 mics of Lucy and 25mg of 2CB – quite the …
I’ve Made A Commitment To Recovery. I Would Let To Many People Down
I had a friend come over who’s not in any 12-step fellowships (yet). He’s much younger than me and sees me as somewhat of a mentor (poor sap). He looks crestfallen as I meet him in my driveway. His head his tilted down, shoulders slumped, he smiles at me with a vacant look on his …
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Close To Relapse – Workaholics Anonymous
I’m getting close to 6 months clean. Workaholism has got me. This feels familiar. It was October last year, orders were pouring in. I was making 30K a month, but the resultant work load was high. I was tired, but pushed through. I had never made that sort of money and wanted to take advantage …
God Grant Me The Strength And Courage To Be An Honest Man
I’ve been following politics since the US election. At first glance it appears a civil war of left vs right, but the more I research the more I realise how utterly corrupt the system is. The establishment; political elite, mainstream media, big pharma, and big tech continue to put out information that is either a …
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My Mum Warned Me That LSD Was Dangerous And Would Cause Flashbacks
It’s a beautiful winters day outside and I have been putting in some good hours at work. I decide to finish off anything urgent and go for a walk. I get to the beach at about 10am and the chill is just starting to come off. The sun beats warm on my back, but the …
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Self-Respect
“Hi Henry” “You look stressed.” “It’s been one of those days. I had to call a mediation service in Gympie to respond to their letter initiated by Lydia. I was pissed at the wording of the letter implying that if I didn’t respond it would go to court. I give her full custody of the …
Henry
I have a new sponsor. Although he doesn’t really believe in sponsorship. He says it encourages lack of personal responsibility, but he said he would be my mentor. His name is Henry and he’s almost 60. He’s tall and slim with a weathered face and is always leaning on something. He has piercing blue eyes …
Red Pill Recovery 