Social Acceptability Does Not Equal Recovery
The Q-ride course was challenging. It was hot and I had to wear jeans and long sleeves as their safety rules. I also hadn’t ridden a bike with gears since I was a kid on the farm, all my experience was riding mopeds in Asia, so while doing all the proficiency tests I was really …
Continue reading “In Awe Of The Spiritually Transformative Power of The Steps”
The next day I run out of MDMA, but still have 2CB left so drop a few 20mg of that throughout the day and vape plenty of my hash. I take Ricky out for lunch and we walk along the beach. I think to myself how much I love being high. I’ve had a great …
Continue reading “I Need a Spiritual Awakening As The Result Of The Steps.”
I go to work and it’s hard to concentrate, but I have to be there as I have the falcon renovating the bathroom, another guy fixing a leak in the roof and my car booked in for some work. I do what I can and think fuck it, I will vape some of that weed. …
Continue reading “If Only I Can Stay Clean. Thank God I Know a Way”
I finish work for the day and check the letterbox as I leave. There is a letter from Poland addressed to a fake name. I had given up on this one ever making it to Australia as I had purchased it over 3 months ago. Damn, it’s 2CB one of my favourite psychedelics that is …
After the devastation of step one, that I can’t live with or without my addictions, that my only hope is a higher power. The answer to addiction is to find fulfilment in bonding and belonging with other people, but as a self-centred addicted I am not capable of this. Every time I try I fail. …
December 1994, I have just turned 19 and I sit in a nice apartment in Sydney over Christmas with family. I’m relaxing on the couch reading a book my auntie bought me for Christmas. I am on my good behaviour and not drinking too much nor smoking any weed, but I am nursing a glass …
I’m at a meeting and the speaker shares. “When I first got sober I thought life would be really boring, but I have found my life is much more interesting now. I am present for my family and friends and I do normal things like walk on the beach and go out for dinner. I …
Nothing much excites me. I have made some good decisions and grown my business to a level I used to only dream about. I have been lucky enough to rent the warehouse next door to mine so now I have 2 warehouses full of stock. That sorts of excites me, but I know how shallow …
Continue reading “I am Powerless Over My Addiction And. My Life is Unmanageable”
As I walked I felt something I have not felt so much before. It wasn’t the projection of the future and dreaming about how good things will be when I do this or achieve that. I have done thousands of walks like that. A very recurring theme was when I was 5-10 years clean I …
Continue reading “I’m a Success. Fuck! I Really Need to Stay Clean.”
It was easy to see the unmanageability of my using when I was younger. Chronically alcoholic, unemployable, and living with my mum in my late teens. I would buy a strip of 10 LSD trips to try and sell it at the local pup, but invariably get too drunk and take most of them myself. …
Continue reading “When I’m Using Psychedelics I am More Manageable Than a Lot of People in NA”
Red Pill Recovery