The next morning, Thursday, I woke up early, did my morning stretching, meditation and journaling, and a bit more of my 4th step. The sunrise was beautiful so I thought I would go for a walk. With my headphones on I walked down the hill to Margate beach and bounced along the boardwalk. At 5 …
Author Archives: nickj
In Awe Of The Spiritually Transformative Power of The Steps
The Q-ride course was challenging. It was hot and I had to wear jeans and long sleeves as their safety rules. I also hadn’t ridden a bike with gears since I was a kid on the farm, all my experience was riding mopeds in Asia, so while doing all the proficiency tests I was really …
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I Need a Spiritual Awakening As The Result Of The Steps.
The next day I run out of MDMA, but still have 2CB left so drop a few 20mg of that throughout the day and vape plenty of my hash. I take Ricky out for lunch and we walk along the beach. I think to myself how much I love being high. I’ve had a great …
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If Only I Can Stay Clean. Thank God I Know a Way
I go to work and it’s hard to concentrate, but I have to be there as I have the falcon renovating the bathroom, another guy fixing a leak in the roof and my car booked in for some work. I do what I can and think fuck it, I will vape some of that weed. …
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Another Relapse as Part of Step 2
I finish work for the day and check the letterbox as I leave. There is a letter from Poland addressed to a fake name. I had given up on this one ever making it to Australia as I had purchased it over 3 months ago. Damn, it’s 2CB one of my favourite psychedelics that is …
What is My Understanding of Step Two?
After the devastation of step one, that I can’t live with or without my addictions, that my only hope is a higher power. The answer to addiction is to find fulfilment in bonding and belonging with other people, but as a self-centred addicted I am not capable of this. Every time I try I fail. …
What is My Understanding of Step One?
December 1994, I have just turned 19 and I sit in a nice apartment in Sydney over Christmas with family. I’m relaxing on the couch reading a book my auntie bought me for Christmas. I am on my good behaviour and not drinking too much nor smoking any weed, but I am nursing a glass …
The Topic is on Sober Activities
I’m at a meeting and the speaker shares. “When I first got sober I thought life would be really boring, but I have found my life is much more interesting now. I am present for my family and friends and I do normal things like walk on the beach and go out for dinner. I …
I am Powerless Over My Addiction And. My Life is Unmanageable
Nothing much excites me. I have made some good decisions and grown my business to a level I used to only dream about. I have been lucky enough to rent the warehouse next door to mine so now I have 2 warehouses full of stock. That sorts of excites me, but I know how shallow …
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I’m a Success. Fuck! I Really Need to Stay Clean.
As I walked I felt something I have not felt so much before. It wasn’t the projection of the future and dreaming about how good things will be when I do this or achieve that. I have done thousands of walks like that. A very recurring theme was when I was 5-10 years clean I …
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Red Pill Recovery 